Josh in Africa

I miss my husband. Josh left for Africa last Monday on a mission trip with four other guys from the church. It's been somewhat of a rollercoaster of emotions...excitement for him being able to see firsthand what God is doing in Africa...knowing how invaluable this experience will be to his faith and worldview...thankful he will be able to relay these things to our children. But, if I'm honest, the overwhelming and constant emotion seems to be sadness. I just miss him. I miss my best friend. My confidant. I miss being able to pick up the phone at any instant and call to say, "Guess what?!?" I miss hiding with Lily to surprise Daddy when he arrives home from work. I miss sitting on the couch with him and laughing at Luke's latest growling noises. I miss rolling my eyes as Josh flexes in front of the mirror. I miss hearing him get excited about _______ (Crossfit, guard dog, etc, etc, etc). I miss lying in bed next to him, hearing him say, “I’ll be right here if you need me.” (Sigh)

But it is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And my affections for the Lord have grown as well. I kind of think of it as fasting from my husband. (Just hear me out...) So many times Josh is my "go-to" in any situation. My first instinct is to take things to him, and often it stops there without even bringing it before the Lord. So this has been good. My communication with Josh is so limited, that I'm forced to confide in the Lord (which is probably how it should be. :) In a very small way, He is showing me that He is enough. He is all I really need. And that my husband is just an added bonus in this life.

Here is the group of guys Josh went with:

Matt Elkins, Jeremy Pace, Dick McFarland, John Wright, Josh
They will be in Sudan, Ethiopia, and Zambia visiting orphanages, encouraging the Smith family and evaluating long-term mission opportunities. Please pray for them and their families while they're away.

Here's Lily saying good-bye to Josh. I wish I had it on video. Right after she squeezed his neck, she kissed his cheek about 10 times. He loved it. :) 

I think leaving for this trip was so much harder for Josh than times past because Lily is now old enough to know he's gone. She asks about him in Africa and says that she misses him several times a day. I think that tears him up inside. But the call to go is greater than safety or comfort or even family. Josh goes into that a little bit in this email he sent out before leaving...

Family and Friends—
I am going because I believe. I am nervous and sad and excited and hopeful. Trust me, my emotions are pretty raw right now. Despite it all and because of Him, I will board a plane tomorrow afternoon for Africa. I am being stretched and forced to reckon with the chasm between my belief and my practice. All of this and I have not even gotten on the plane. Crazy.

Africa is a mysterious place that exists in the constant tension of joy and pain. It has endured unspeakable sorrow, yet the Spirit of Christ has seen fit to spark a revival throughout. I believe I will be confronted with both realities and that my heart will be changed. I am not, however, doing this alone. My wife and family are sacrificing as well. It is no small thing to be apart for 17 days. I am also travelling with 4 other men from the church: John Wright (elder candidate), Dick McFarland (elder candidate), Jeremy Pace (Director of Missions) and Matt Elkins (Missions Associate). It should be an incredible time for us to bond and experience the Lord together. When it is all said and done…we believe that Christ is better than life. This is a small way to walk out that reality.

I love you all,
jp

Josh also posted from Uganda on the Village blog here.