Saturday, May 12, 2007

Things above

I should be in bed. Asleep. It's almost midnight, and my toddler will undoubtedly awaken in seven short hours regardless of how much shut eye I've had. And yet, I continue to blog. I guess I'm a night person. I love being up at night. Mornings on the other hand are a struggle. Man, for some reason I almost hate to admit that. I guess I've always wished I were a morning person. There's just something so romantic about the idea of waking before the sun, pouring a hot cup of coffee, and enjoying the stillness of the quiet house. But that's pretty much me right now. Minus the coffee and the sun.

Anyways, I've really been thinking on Colossians 3:1-3 this week. Ben Stewart spoke out of this text last weekend, and it was SO good to hear. He said that our thoughts lead to our affections which lead to our actions. And all these evil thoughts that we have need to be replaced with good thoughts (oversimplified version.) It's not enough just to stop thinking the bad thoughts. We've got to fill that void with good thoughts. Hence, Col. 3: "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God..."

This came at such a good time. Last Sunday night, I came to church totally unprepared for the battle that would take place in my mind during worship. But it was hardly "worship" for me. I loved getting to hear a new voice leading out. But sadly, it led to self-focus and all these thoughts of insecurity and comparison and inadequacy. And my reaction in these times can be really impulsive. So, I was thinking, "I've got to leave. I've got to go home and practice. I've got to get better." Silly, I know. But so real and overwhelming in the moment. Thankfully, the Lord helped me fight off that impulsiveness, and I stayed to hear the message. Which was just what I needed. Thank you, Lord, for being so faithful. Faithful to speak to me through your Word, through your servant Ben, through friends like Andrea and Molly.

I know this may be a battle I will always fight this side of heaven - but that I am ultimately victorious through Him. And so I continue to take captive the lies by believing Truth. Setting my mind on things that are above. Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).

5 comments:

Hillary Kouba said...

It was so fun to see Lily at church today! She is beautiful! We missed not seeing you two :)

luke baublet said...

"I've got to leave. I've got to go home and practice. I've got to get better."

can i just tell you that i feel this way every single week at the village? there are so many amazing musicians and vocalists, its often overwhelming for me also.

as i know how hard this struggle can be, especially because often it happens when we least expect it, i just wanted to say that i understand and i'm praying for your battle natalie.

Finally an Abrigg..... said...

you are precious to me. thank you for your beautiful honest heart. i am calling you this week.

Dawntoya said...

This is so honest! I love you Nat Pat! I have been thinking on that verse too! Theres so much there...

Andrea Bowman said...

Nat...I'm so proud of you for writing this! I love seeing how God is working in your life. I missed you this week...hopefully we can catch up before you and Josh leave. Love you!