pregnancy update

Last Thursday marked my 25th week of pregnancy. I had an appointment that day with my OB for the glucose test and a sonogram to check my placenta previa. Not sure if I mentioned that in an earlier post, but it's basically when your placenta grows in the lower part of your uterus, sometimes covering the cervix. My doctor diagnosed it early on and we've been checking every few visits to see if it corrects itself. About 90% of cases found in the first trimester do, meaning as the uterus grows, it pulls the placenta up and away from the cervix. But if it doesn't, it can cause bleeding and could put the mother and baby at risk.

Here's a visual.

About two months ago when my doctor checked, he said it looked like it was moving up and away like we wanted. But this time, he saw that the placenta was right up against the cervix. There's still a chance that it could correct itself since the uterus will still expand greatly before Luke is born. Right now he's about 2 pounds, and he'll probably be around 7 at full term. BUT, until it does, I am on unofficial bed rest. Doc said it probably wasn't necessary yet for me to be restricted to my bed, but I have to stay off my feet as much as possible. So no more exercise, long walks (including shopping), vaccuuming (hallelujah!), lifting Lily or really anything for that matter. I'm still trying to figure out how this works with my very active toddler. Thankfully, we already switched her to her "big girl" bed, and she can pretty much climb into her carseat so I won't HAVE to lift her really at all.

As I was on the way home from the doctor, I broke down on the phone while telling Josh the news. How am I supposed to abide by this 1) with a two year old and 2) for the next 3 months! How can I be a good mom to Lily when I can't pick her up or race her down the sidewalk? I know there's more to being a good mom than that, but i guess it grieves my heart a little to think these are the last few months I'll have with just her and that I'm limited in what I can do. Or my sweet husband whose love language happens to be acts of service...how will I fulfill my role as wife and take care of the home when I can't do some of the most simple house chores? And then not to mention, the fear in the back of my mind that I could start bleeding at any time. Or that I might have to have a C-section if it doesn't improve...

This all may come across very ungrateful and some of you may be thinking: it could be a lot worse! And I realize that. Maybe this is just a pity party for myself on losing out on what I want to do. I am grateful that I do have a healthy baby boy and that I'm only on partial bed rest. I know that this is just for a season and that we will make it through. I know that this will all be worth it and that the end goal is to have a healthy baby. And ultimately, I know that the Lord is Sovereign and in control of this situation. And that He cares for Lily and Josh and Luke more than I ever could. Something I've been learning in Recovery and in my Bible study, is that I've got to be honest with what I'm feeling rather than telling myself what I should feel. Even though I know these things and SHOULD be able to rest in them, the honest truth is that I'm still a little sad that it has to be this way. I want to acknowledge these feelings before the Lord, but then also ask Him to allow me to rest in who He is. My hope and prayer is that through this, I will get more of Him and that He will be my joy regardless of my circumstances.

It's interesting too that my Bible study is going through the fruits of the Spirit over the next year, and right now we happen to be focusing on love. I'm realizing that on some level I still feel like I have to earn love or prove that I'm worthy to be loved. It's hard for me to accept that I am loved just for who I am, without the "doing." That Josh would love me for who I am, just as I am and not what I can offer.  And I'm sure this also plays into how I receive God's love for me too. Whew. Still got a lot of processing and praying to do on that one. But I can definitely see that He's going to be refining me a lot over these next few months. And Praise His Name for that. So if you think about it, please pray that my placenta previa would correct itself. But most of all, that I would be content in Him and His love for me regardless.

fountain fun

Lily and Noah enjoying the fountains

beware

Happy Belated Cinco de Mustache!

Ah, spring

I love this time of year. Lily and I enjoyed some time outside today between rain showers. The flowers were so pretty and colorful that I thought I'd snap some pictures. Way to go, Josh, on all your hard work grooming the flowerbeds so we can enjoy them!



the day lilies


the climbing roses


the jasmine that smells amazing


Miss Lily and her Ladybug

Tex-Mex and (not homemade) Bundt Cake

Tex-Mex is probably my FAVORITE food. In fact, I could probably eat it once a day. So I was very excited when the Jones' invited us out to Grapevine for dinner. They live in the historic section of downtown, just a few blocks away from Main Street. (sidenote: downtown Grapevine is a great destination for dinner...Main Street Bakery (amazing everything), Napoli's (amazing cannoli), Cafe Italia (amazing pink vodka sauce), and Esparza's (amazing outdoor patio). And that's where we headed last week for some tex-mex cuisine. Esparza's is basically an old house converted into a restaurant. Their patio is HUGE and a great place for some chips and salsa while waiting for your table. Amanda, Kristyn, Jason, Angie, Josh, and I all worked at CrossCamp together for multiple summers and ate so much Tex-Mex as a staff that one of our camps shirts one year said, "CrossCamp: Just one more basket please" with a basket of chips and salsa underneath. Not exactly sure why that was a camp shirt, but whatever. And now we're glad to have Camden and Philip part of the crew; they're good sports for putting up with our camp stories. 

After we were happily stuffed, we walked back to Camden and Amanda's house for dessert (and the Stars' playoff game). There was a slight uproar when the group found out that Amanda bought a dessert rather than making one. She's pretty much Martha Stewart, so the disappointment was justified, until we tasted the bundt cake she served from Nothing Bundt Cakes. It was a marble bundt cake with cream cheese icing...divine. I could have eaten just a whole bowl of that icing. Wish I'd gotten a picture of it, but this will have to do. Luckily, Amanda was off the hook this time.

You may remember from this post how much of a car guy Camden is. Well, because he had a race that weekend, we got to see his race car (complete with trailer and everything). He even revved up the engine for us! Pretty cool. And of course, we had to try on his helmet! Hope you enjoy the pics.

the arboretum

Today, we went with Lolli (Josh's mom) to the arboretum and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. It was the perfect day to be outside in God's glorious creation. The grass was so green and soft you just wanted to take off your shoes and squish it between your toes. And we found the coolest flower: the foxglove: never seen it before but so pretty.

Lily loved the many fountains and trails she got to explore looking for lizards and birdies. If you haven't been out to the arboretum yet, I highly recommend it!

bumper evangelism

When we got home from the party, we found this on the back bumper...

not quite our idea of sharing the Gospel...so, who was the sneaky culprit????

Happy Birthday, Preston!

Thursday night we got to celebrate Preston's first birthday with the Hollemans.  And they know how to throw a party. Kristyn outdid herself with the food. Amazing appetizers and every topping you could imagine for your burger. Plus the best chocolate chip cupcakes I've ever eaten. (In fact, I thought about them all day today and invited myself over to have another tonight. They were that good.) It turned out to be a beautiful evening, so we ate outside on the patio (once the smoke cleared from the wild flames coming out of the grill. At one point we thought the house might catch fire...maybe it was the wind?) As we were eating, several flies made their presence known buzzing persistently around the food. And Lily FREAKED out anytime one got remotely close to her. Or her food. Or me. Or my food. I mean, like screaming at the top of her lungs! She's never reacted that way to bugs before, but maybe this is a new phase. To get her mind off the flies, we moved into the front yard and distracted her with The Swing. This is not just any old swing hanging from a branch. No, this swing is suspended from a wire cable (capable of supporting somewhere around 1000 pounds) and anchored to two pine trees so that you can swing in all directions. Serious fun. Lily couldn't get enough. And as if that weren't enough excitement, next came the pinata! But since all of the kiddos were under the age of 3, the dads ended up beating it down. (And might I add that Josh had the final blow...way to go, babe.) Oh, and I just have to mention that about two hours into the party, the Bleeckers realized that the brake lights on their truck were on. When Michael went to turn them off, he realized they'd left the truck running that entire time! Whoops! We all had a good laugh at that one. All in all, it was a great night celebrating the life of little Preston. We're so thankful we get to walk with the Hollemans and watch Preston grow up! Love you guys!