birthday expectations

i know it's a little overdue, but i thought i'd recap the events of lily's birthday. let's just say things didn't go quite as i planned. oh, she loved every minute of it. but of course, i let my darn expectations get in the way and mess everything up. allow me to elaborate. 

this was lily's third birthday. and this year she really "got" what a birthday is all about. another year older, party, presents, cake, etc. even to the point that no matter what store we were in, she'd pick up a random item and say, "well, maybe i can get this for my birthday..." guess i wore that phrase out. anyways, the day was approaching and i was actually planning ahead. her actual birthday was on a saturday, but her party was the next day on sunday.  so i was pleased with the task lists i'd made and checked off as saturday came. (need i remind you who i'm married to?) so each year on lily's birthday, i've gone into her room the morning of, before she wakes up, and filled her bed with balloons. (i think i stole that from  hillary.) but this birthday i decided to decorate the night before since i had balloons AND streamers. ;) so i wrapped her bed posts in pink streamers and filled her floor with pink balloons. 

let me also say that our big present to her was a bike. not just any bike. the disney princess bike. i'm sure you've seen it, as all female toddlers possess it. and not just any disney princess bike. the pink one. NOT the purple one. she had made it clear. (this was funny to me because they ALL had pink AND purple on them. some were mostly pink and some mostly purple. she liked the mostly pink one- which if they weren't side by side i didn't think she'd know the difference.) still, i made sure to find the right pink (not purple) disney princess bike at toys r us and managed to keep it hidden from her. we moved the pink (not purple) disney princess bike into the laundry room for the big reveal the next day. 

and being the good mommy i am, i also bought a special birthday outfit for lily to wear all day saturday. a cute little pink and brown dress with a flower on the front, leggings, and a little mini sweater. SO cute. she'll love it, i thought, especially because it's pink.

everything was set. i would make breakfast cake in the morning so lily could blow out her candles. delighted with myself and my preparation, i looked forward to the next day like a little child anticipating christmas. 

the next morning we awoke to lily screaming out, "mama! mama! mama!" 

a little concerned, i ran into her room, knocking balloons every which way, to find her crouching in her bed confused at all the decor. 

"mama! why is all this stuff in here?" 

not quite the reaction i was going for. 

but, nevertheless, we made a big deal of her birthday as she climbed out of bed. and now for the first present of the day! i handed her the box containing the birthday outfit. she tore into it and then stopped when she saw it. 

"what do you think, lily? isn't it cute?" 

"i don't like it."

(another dagger in my heart)

"what? but it's so cute! and it's PINK!" 

"i don't like it...it's too small."

josh must have been able to sense my frustration at this point as i pleaded with my toddler to wear the special birthday outfit i had especially picked out. he said we should let it go and let her wear what she was wanted. i went into the kitchen to cool off and start making the breakfast cake. so far, i was 0-2. but that's ok because we still had the pink (not purple) disney princess bike to make a big deal of and video her reaction. 

at least i thought. minutes later josh came in with "that" look on his face and explained that when he opened the door to the laundry room looking for her "other" dress, lily said, 

"hey, is that my bike?"

to which josh answered,

"uh, yeah."

to which lily replied,

"but...it's purple."

and so my last ounce of birthday bliss expectation was squeezed from my defeated heart.

0-3, my friends.

thankfully, lily wasn't bothered by any of this. she was having a great day. and so i had to confess my control issues, apologize for my bad attitude, and let go of my expectations. i was able to laugh about it later that morning, and josh and i recounted the whole thing on video. 

and just to top it off, the candles completely melted in the breakfast cake leaving pink rings of wax behind cause i stuck them in before it cooled. of course. :)

all in all it was a great day. it just reminded me of how caught up i can get with the little stuff. my focus was on the wrong things and my hope was misplaced. Lord, help me. we'll see if He has soon - luke's one year is coming up in august! ;)  

blowing out her candles

ready to dig in

luke watching from the floor

loving every bite