Saturday, July 7, 2007

Getting in Touch with His Feminine Side


Some men are afraid. Afraid that doing certain things will make them less of a man. I assume you've got to be pretty secure in your manhood to do certain things- like get a pedicure. Right? At least that's what I'm telling myself since my husband got one yesterday. He was given a gift certificate (from Bex and Kristen) to Luxury Nails for his birthday.

Sidenote: In case you don't know, my husband has a foot fetish. He doesn't like to call it a fetish. He prefers to say, "He observes feet." Weird. If he knows you, he knows your feet. The shape of your foot, the length of your toenails, the color of your polish...it's a little disturbing. In fact, one summer at CrossCamp, we tested Josh's skills with a guessing game. We rigged it to where Josh could only see the feet of each staff member, and he had to guess who they belonged to. He got every one right. If you're starting to feel a little uncomfortable right now about your feet, take Josh's advice. "You can't help the form of your feet. But you can help the funk." Just keep them maintained. That's all he asks. So before you step outside the house again in your flip flops, better take another look at your feet.

Back to the pedicure...Josh tried to keep the whole thing under wraps. He had no intention of telling me that he was going. I only found out because I asked him if he could watch Lily at 10 on Friday. He told me he had "something." After further questioning I found out that he had secretly scheduled his pedicure. Josh didn't want ANYONE to know he was going for fear of who else might show up. He even put it on his calendar under "gym appointment" so that his admin Andrea wouldn't tell me. Here's how the day unfolded:

5:45am...the alarm clock goes off but the volume is down so Natalie doesn't get up to go to her class at the gym.
7:00am...Josh leaves for the gym.
8:30am...Nat and Lily head to the gym.
8:40am...Nat encounters Kristen on the stepmill and tells her about the pedicure.
9:40am...Josh arrives at Luxury Nails (he says that a group of construction workers in the parking lot stared him down as he walked in).
10:10am...Nat and Lily surprise Josh at Luxury Nails with a camera, take the above picture, and leave.
10:20am...Kristen and Bex arrive, take pictures, and leave.
10:25am...Josh is left trying to explain the situation to the others in the salon.
10:40am...Josh confesses...darkness will always be brought into the light!

12 comments:

Kristyn said...

I'm really not sure that this constitutes a transgression of the law of God, but surely this is an offense against a type of moral law; confess now, colored polish or a simple coat of clear topcoat?
From Jason Holleman
Song of Solomon 7:1

LeRay said...

Oh my!! Wait til Chris gets a hold of this one.

Jonathan, Andrea and Luke said...

oh my God. All those times he was staring at my feet when I was greeting?? CREEPY! Kidding!
So funny. Tell Josh..welcome to being a 'girly man'. Jonathan insists we do this together. (he loves them more than me)
WTG JOSH! So funny Nat!

Bex said...

this is amazing!! you should have seen his face when kristen and i showed up at the salon...PRICELESS.

Kristi said...

oh my word! michael and i are laughing! that is quite a sight to see... thank you for taking that picture and giving me a good laugh!

Summy V & DawnyT said...

this is amazing. I'm sad I wasn't there to point and laugh. :)

Tiffani said...

LOVE it! So great...please tell Josh I said congrats! I try & get Tim to go with me all the time, but he has only given in twice. Secretly, I think he likes it! Funny post!

Andrea Bowman said...

oh my gosh...that is awesome! i will let you know if josh puts any more "suspicious" things on his calendar that you might want to know about :)

christa said...

My toes have not been painted for a few days and i am terrified that I will run into Josh somehwere! He won't be at the pool this week will he?

KimBeau Hughes said...

josh, i have a confession. i have had on the same toenail polish since the beginning of june, and it is starting to look very tragic. but i guess you've already noticed. I DONT OWN POLISH REMOVER!!!

Gayla said...

Those of us bloggers who are Village people now know a little bit more about Josh than before. :)

Thanks for sharing! :)

Lisa Allen said...

This was so funny,I never knew that you are a funny funny girl!!